This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
