Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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