I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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