i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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