dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize