I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
