I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm getting married
To pizza
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
