yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
