I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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