Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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