everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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