She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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