who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize