Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
