Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
