Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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