oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize