Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
