I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
