I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
