Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
