ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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