wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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