having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
