I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
