I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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