I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
A+ Viking dick
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
