So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
