I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
