It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
