I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
