thus making me awesome and them whores
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Sober January is a disaster.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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