just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
