I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
