I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
