My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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