no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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