she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
