too bad you live with your parents still
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
