Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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