im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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