I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
