well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
