I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
