piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
