y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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