hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
