so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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