youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
