took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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