I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
