so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
