When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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